Today started at 6:30am, when from her nearby bedroom I could hear the faint sounds of Emma singing a made-up song to a made-up tune. It went something like this: “Toooo day I’m going to kindergarten! The first day of schoooool… and I’m in kindergarten….”. You get the idea. To say she was excited would be an understatement; to say her dad and I were NOT, would be too. We’ve been talking and planning for weeks, but yesterday, on her last full day home with me, I couldn’t have felt more unprepared (outfits were laid out, backpack by the door, fridge packed with lunchbox goodies… it was my heart that was scattered).
The big girl made her own sandwich… and I just realized I am posting a photo of my child LICKING a knife – not good, but hey, it’s a butter knife folks!
And yeah! Emma actually cooperated for pictures! The word is that photographer’s kids are… well, you know. Last night we told her we would be taking photos in the morning. She said “I don’t want to,” but I quickly responded “you have to; it’s the law”. I mean, not the law of the LAND, but the law at our house. She is, after all, in a photography family, and around here we measure the worth of the moment by the number of photos we take. Today? Over 100. Shameful.
This girl? She loves her mama.
But it’s daddy who holds her heart. This picture makes me want to weep, for so many reasons.
I love this little country school she’s going to. When we dropped her off we had to physically drive around a dog in the school parking lot… and stop to pet two more on the way in.
The heart was my sweet little thought of something to take to school with her to hold if she missed us. I made it the day before out of clay, then when I was ready to paint it (at 10pm last night), I couldn’t find my paints. If you can’t tell from the matching fingernails… I painted it with my fingernail polish. Emma was delighted that it matched. Go figure.We were the last parents to leave the kindergarten hallway… not that she was crying or begging us to stay, it’s just that we’re not used to her life being separate from us. If I could have strapped a web cam on her forehead I think I would have, but it’s time. I know. It’s time to let go.